no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
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