he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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