remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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