Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
