we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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