all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The power of my boobs compel you
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
