I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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