this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
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we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
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I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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