Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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