Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
