Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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