That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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