I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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