Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
