Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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