how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
