all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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