she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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