i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
The ass gains better be worth it
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