ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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