I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
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So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
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I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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