This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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