Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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