nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
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I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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