I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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