i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
