I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Randomize
