quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
