He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize