Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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