my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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