This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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