she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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