Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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