i already hear my dad disowning me
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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