I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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