meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
