my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
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my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
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Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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