my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
