well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
