hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
