im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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