how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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