Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
