i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize