You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize