SEEEEXXX PLEASE
this beer tastes like vomit already
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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