Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
the raccoons are back...
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