I think my vagina is haunted
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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