so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize