I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize