Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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