i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize