He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize