$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
