FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
