I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
