ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You're a waste of cheezeits
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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