we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
