wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
