If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Randomize
